OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
