so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
