remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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