It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize