sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
