i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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