Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
