Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
