I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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