I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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