I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I understand Curling. That high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
