I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize