fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this will be a night to untag.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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