WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dick has a subreddit
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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