We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
