I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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