He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
