I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love having hate sex.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
