It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
