two words: eviction party
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize