Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
