She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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