dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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