Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
