Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
