Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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