between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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