My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
