"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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