i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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