is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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