Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
