why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Come back. Shots need mouths.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
