My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize