So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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