She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
