i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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