the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
