Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
