Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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