is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
