Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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