Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
