yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
