Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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