11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
