so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize