I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
