the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize