hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize