i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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