"it" just moved
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
