she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
