I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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