Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
