My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
