I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
