Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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