You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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