ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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