New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
