Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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