he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
