dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I could make wine with my vomit
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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