Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
