...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
