I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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