This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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