i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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