i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
