these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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