found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
