So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Watching her eat just hurts me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
