dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
