I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
