Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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