how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
