margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
