if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
