Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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