I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
