I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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