I hate your face
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
