That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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