To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
