Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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